


Breath

by everylosttouch



Series: Canon SH fics [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x16 coda fic, Alec is emo, Angst, Crying, Lorenzo sucks, M/M, like all of us, my trademark angst is making a comeback, wbk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 16:38:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everylosttouch/pseuds/everylosttouch
Summary: “If he dies—”Alec stops then, cutting himself off. He did. Magnus’ heart stopped beating, he stopped breathing, and for however short of a moment—Alec lost him.





	Breath

It starts with anger. As he walks into Magnus’—no, now it’s _Lorenzo_ ’ _s_ —loft, he can’t help but feel anger, feel hatred. This man, this warlock had put Magnus out of his title, out of his house, out of the place they called _home_. He gave Magnus magic that was killing him slowly, that made him cough up blood and speak in words he didn’t know the meaning of and—

The thoughts make his blood boil.

But threats and pointed words don’t phase Lorenzo. He doesn’t back down. It’s disgusting, seeing someone who is supposed to lead and protect do all these things to a fellow warlock all because he’s _jealous_.

Then he’s pushed away, and the anger, the hatred, it simmers. It’s still there, hardly gone, but Alec _needs_ Lorenzo in this moment because at the end of the day, he’s the only one who can save Magnus from this. He takes an uneven breath, trying to steel himself once more.

“You’ve never been in love, have you?”

Lorenzo gives a look. “I’m over 300 years old, of course I have. More times than I care to admit.”

There’s a seriousness, a determination that pulls Alec forward then, back towards the selfish, slimy, manipulative High Warlock. “Well for me, it’s only one. Magnus.” He stops in front of Lorenzo once more, glaring down.

Harsh words and subtle threats won’t get Lorenzo to cooperate with him. But he _needs_ Magnus alive, he can’t live without him. So he lets the anger simmer and he lets out the words, the hurt, the ache that has been throbbing in his chest since the second Magnus fell unconscious. His eyes burn with tears that threaten to fall any second.

“Magnus…Magnus is my _world_ ,” he starts, voice wavering slightly, “and if he dies—”

Alec stops then, cutting himself off.

It’s then that he realizes.

_He did._

Magnus’ heart stopped beating. He had stopped breathing; and for however short of a moment—Alec had lost him.

For a moment, Magnus was _gone_ and he couldn’t bring him back. He remembers the compressions against his boyfriend’s chest, how he was begging, _pleading_ for Magnus to stay with him. How Magnus’ nose was still bloody, how his body had gone slack, how he wasn’t breathing, and his heart wasn’t beating. No matter how many compressions he did, he wouldn’t wake up and—

And for a moment, Alec had lost the love of his life.

Alec’s lip trembles, lowering his gaze from Lorenzo. He holds up a hand in a silent gesture, as if it would help him voice the words now lodged in his throat. It fails, however, and he lets it fall by his side once more, taking a deep breath.

“Look, Lorenzo,” he starts, gaze lifting back up to the warlock’s. The vision is a bit hazier, tears fogging up his vision. His voice cracks in odd places, but he doesn’t care. “He’s no threat to you, okay? He doesn’t have his powers, just—” He blinks, trying to clear the vision but all he can feel is the stray tear that falls down his face.

Magnus doesn’t have his powers, and because of that, because of _him_ , Magnus is suffering.

“Just… _please,_ ” he pleads once more, lip quivering. His heart throbs painfully in his chest as his lungs try to suck in another breath. “Please help him.”

And that is all he can say as another harsh sniffle rips through him and his breath shudders once more. He tears his gaze away. He’s said all he can, put his heart and soul out on the line in hopes that Lorenzo will have some sympathy, will put away his goddamn pride to save Magnus. Because Alec can’t lose him. He can’t. They had just talked about moving in right before everything fell apart, but Alec has always wanted so much more. To get down on one knee, to present the family ring and hope Magnus would say yes. To show Magnus he was so worthy of love and to shower him with kisses. To marry Magnus, to call him his husband and make love like the first time. To have a family, have children, to—

He can’t lose Magnus. Not until they live the happiest life together.

So if he has to beg, to plead to save Magnus’ life, he will.

**Author's Note:**

> :^)
> 
> come talk to me over on twitter @the_biconic_mb!


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